this research paper aims at discussing solutions, benefits and challenges of the cigarette and alcohol abuse.

Title is broad. Try to  make it specific of your stand in the paper. This brings us to the bigger problem: you’ve not taken a stand on the issue. From this stems the other issues of the paper. Your thesis is this: ” .this research paper aims at discussing solutions, benefits and challenges of the cigarette and alcohol abuse.” This is a broad, informative thesis that does not aim to convince in any way whereas all the readings that we did in the class and the assignment instructions and my discussions emphasize on a persuasive paper that takes a defensible stand on an issue and uses logical, emotional and ethical appeals to make the case.

 

Take a stand on the issue: Taxes on alcool and tobacco should be increased/should not be increased ….. (depending on what your stand on the issue is and along with it give your reasons.

 

)Inttroduction needs to be more reader appealing.

 

All the info you’re sharing in the paper is general. You can use the info, but use it in such a way that it substantiates the point you’re making..

 

Provide a short history of taxes on tobacco and alcohol.

 

After an appealing intro, thesis, history of the issue, Assign 3 focuses on the problems in the current scenario.For example, let’s say your stand on the issue is “Taxes on tobacco and alcohol should be increased”. If taxes on these items are not increased, what are the problems? You need to discuss this in detail with logical, emotional and ethical appeal in your argument.

 

Finally, provide a short conclusion which quickly sums up all the points you made. This is Assign 3.

 

Now, for the next paper, Assign 4, you revise this paper based on my suggesyions and include the advantages of your claim.Let’s stick with the same thesis for a minute, “”Taxes on tobacco and alcohol should be increased” What are the positives of increasing taxes on tobacco and alcohol? This should be the focus of Assign 4.

 

There are some references, but no in text citations. Without in text citations, I wouldn’t know which is your writing and which is borrowed info. If information is borrowed verbatim, please enclose it within quotation marks. Both quotations and paraphrases require in text citations that correspond with the references at the back.

 

Please revise for sentence structure errors.

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